Why old school parenting doesn’t work.

A few weeks ago, in a session at the Guadaíza high school family workshop, we began talking about parenting styles and also about the dangers of the internet for children. We came to a clear conclusion: the authoritarian parenting style doesn't work.

Given the current state of society, it's better to try to guide and accompany than to impose.

As I've been saying for some time, I think we're all aware that we're being pioneers. We find ourselves in a time of uncertainty, facing a new scenario: never before have families like ours faced raising children with constant access to technology.

As soon as they have a device in their hands, they also have great power: access to an immense amount of information that we can't control. And with it, many dangers lurk: cyberbullying, pornography, pedophiles, abuse, the digital footprint that can determine their future.

Those of us who are from the '80s generation don't have a digital footprint. Well, actually, we do, but not since childhood.

When we were young, we did things we'd probably regret today... but there's no proof of that. Our children, however, do leave traces: of what they do, what they say, the crazy ideas they had as teenagers that will likely change as they mature. But that trace remains, and anyone can find it on Google or any search engine.

That's why it's so important not to resort to authoritarianism. Because when our children have a problem, we'll need them to come to us, not hide it for fear of punishment or a scolding. The authoritarian parenting style may have good results in the short term—children obey and don't complain—but it doesn't lay the foundation for trust in the future.

This reflection makes me think that, in the end, it all comes down to one thing: connection and unconditional love. That's what they need so much and what we sometimes struggle to offer when they disappoint us or don't meet our expectations.

But we mustn't forget that our children aren't here to meet expectations. They're here because we gave them life, and now it's their turn to live it. It's up to us to guide them, accompany them, and be there for them.

Not to judge them.

How about you? What do you think about the authoritarian style? Looking forward to reading your comments.

Hugs,

Cris