How to talk to your kids about porn

This topic usually makes parents very nervous, since it is still taboo in many families and sometimes they do not know what is the best way to approach the topic of sexuality with their kids.

A couple of years ago, I spoke with a mom who told me how she had discussed the topic with her teenage daughter. A friend of hers, a psychologist, had provided her with a list of books adapted by age on sexuality, sexual relationships, etc. She told me that thanks to this, her daughter had been very open with her about the topic and that, although sometimes there were things that she preferred not to hear, it was satisfying to know that her daughter came to her when she had questions instead of asking someone else or worse, search for it on the internet.

Everyone knows that when we give a minor an electronic device with an Internet connection without parental control, all the content that exists on the Internet is at their fingertips, including pornography.

Although many find it hard to believe, there are already studies that show that young people access pornographic content at the early age of 8 years. This seems crazy to me; When I was that age, I was playing with my dolls, whereas now our sons and daughters are exposed to porn.

Even if we have parental control, as is my case, that does not guarantee that my children cannot see it on the devices of friends who do not have it, in advertisements, videos, etc. I firmly believe that nowadays everything is becoming sexualized; Therefore, we have no choice but to talk about the issue with them. If we don't address the issue we run the risk of leaving this important work in the hands of friends or pornography.

I have been talking to my children about sex for a long time, it is not that we are talking about it all the time, but I do find moments from time to time to bring it up with them. They do not usually ask me, that is why I am the one who has the initiative and once we start then the questions appear.

My daughter has known where children come from since she was 5 years old. At that age, I bought some storybooks that were very helpful to me. We read them before going to sleep, and they explain in a very natural way what a sexual relationship is like and what a man and a woman must do to conceive, in addition to addressing the sexual organs, etc. Boys and girls at that age are very curious, so it is important to approach the topic naturally and read the story like any other, without giving it too much importance.

I know that many of you are very embarrassed to talk about this with them, but think about it, do you really want your child to learn that sex is a group of people abusing another? Or that they should be submissive to what the other person wants? I am certainly clear about it, I want my children to know what a healthy sexual relationship is, how to take precautions, when to say no, and to have sex when they want, and not when they feel pressured or to please the other person.

Sexual affective education is very important and if you want to address it, I want to share with you some books that can help you:

To read with them (4-8 years)

- Questions to Love by Virginie Dumont. (There is this title for ages and there is it for older people too)

- Where  did I come from? by Peter Mayle (my favorite)

- It's called a penis! My first sexual education book by Ana Salvia and Cristina Torrón.

If we don't know how to approach the topic we can read The Naked People In Your iPod (Tweens, Teens, and Parents and Adults or For Goodness Sex by Al Vernacchio.

And if you want your teenagers to be the ones to read about the subject, I propose

Doing it!, let's talk about sex by Hannah Witton.

For those of you who do not know what the XXX generation is, it is that of boys and girls who, early on and often involuntarily, are accessing online pornography. Never before has any generation of parents had to face this, so it is best to be prepared and if we can do it together, then it's great!.
 
Don't hesitate to write me if you need help with this topic, I will be happy to help you.
I would love to know your opinion on this.
 

A hug,


Cris