When mother's day is not how you expected.

Today was Mother's Day. Like every year, we celebrated it as a family: my parents, my brother, my sister-in-law, my nephew, my children, my partner, and I. We were excited to get together, to share that special time. Everything started out well.

Slowly, I began to notice that I couldn't fully enjoy it. My children were showing an attitude I didn't like at all: ugly gestures, rude retorts, long faces, inappropriate comments, outbursts...

I didn't understand why they were behaving this way.

I asked myself: What's going on? Am I doing a terrible job as a mother? I try to support other mothers, give them tools, and yet... how can I do that if I'm not even capable of raising my own children well? I felt like an imposter. A failure. In that moment, I was overcome with anger, helplessness, and frustration.

Still, I held on. I swallowed my tears, I kept my composure in front of my family. I didn't want to explode, I didn't want to lose control.

After the meal, we left. And in the car, like so many other times, the time came to talk. My children had already expected it: the post-disaster talk. Because I don't usually intervene in the heat of the moment. I know it's useless. I prefer to do it afterward, calmly.

I explained how I felt. How excited I was to share that day with them, how much it hurt to see their attitude, how I trusted that, after several warnings, they would be able to correct their behavior.

Then, my son blurted out one of those phrases that stirs you inside:

"Mom, why do you care so much what people think? You always say you shouldn't worry about what other people think."

And that's when I realized something hadn't been clear.

Of course, we shouldn't live depending on the opinions of others. But that doesn't mean we can behave without limits. In society, there are rules. And knowing how to behave, behaving respectfully, maintaining composure, knowing when to speak and when not to... is part of living together.

That comment made me realize something deeper: at home, I've been too flexible with certain behaviors. And now, what I see outside is a reflection of what I've allowed inside.

So I've made a decision: from now on, these rules of coexistence will also be practiced at home. Because if they don't internalize them in their safest environment, how will they apply them outside, when I'm not around?

Motherhood is a constant learning process. Today I'm proud that I haven't lost my temper, but it hurts that I couldn't fully enjoy such a special meal.

As I always tell other moms, today I have to apply it to myself. I'm doing the best I can, and that's enough. I'm going to put those thoughts of failure and imposter syndrome out of my mind and think about how hard I work every day to do my best.

This situation has only opened my eyes to something we need to work on. I'm deciding not to take it personally. They didn't do it to hurt me; they're children and they're learning.

Tomorrow, calmly, I'll talk to them again. I'll clearly explain the rules, what I expect from their behavior when we go out, when we share spaces with other people.

That's my job as a mother: to teach. To teach that every action has a consequence. That to improve, you have to practice. And that making mistakes is okay, as long as we're willing to learn.

Because I'm not here to make everything perfect. I'm here to help them grow.

And also to continue growing with them.

And you? Do you feel like you fail sometimes as a mother? Can´twait to hear your thoughts.

Hugs,

Cris