How your child sees you

I don't know if the same thing happens to you, but when I watch videos about positive parenting, raising sons and daughters, or read about the subject, I usually feel guilty. It's like I'm doing everything wrong.

Since I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I started reading books about breastfeeding, secure attachment, co-sleeping, etc. A search began to do my best, to improve and to have the peace of mind that I had given my all as a mother and person for my children.

Still, the same feeling "guilt" always appeared.

Being a mother is not easy, we begin to suffer even before we become one, sometimes we have a hard time getting pregnant or we even have abortions or something goes wrong, all that suffering, which is not talked about, is there and it is real.

I speak from the point of view of mothers because I am one, I cannot speak from the point of view of the father.

Once we manage to have our long-awaited baby, it is not just about having a son or daughter and that's it, the difficult part comes later, and I'm not referring to the sleepless nights, the back pain from carrying them in your arms all the time or the  generalized fatigue, but to the continuous work that we have left for life with them, because yes, it is a commitment for life and we should not take it lightly.

Obviously when they grow up they will leave and our responsibility will be less, but our protective instinct will always be there, and we will always want to help them, support them and give them love.

With all this, what I want to say is that enough of feeling guilty, we have to feel grateful for the continuous effort of growth and improvement that we make every day. We have to learn from mistakes, precisely in this way we can learn.

I have decided not to feel guilty anymore, because the truth is that I try a lot to establish dialogue, to negotiate things, to make them see the reason for my decisions, to give them unconditional love, to make them feel loved and all those things that make us feel loved, as  positive parenting says. For all this I should feel proud, because I am striving to improve every day, because I continue studying and reading to learn to do better as a mother and above all not to lose the trust of my children.

A very good friend once told me that no matter how hard you try, your children will always find something that when they are adults they will recriminate you because they would have liked it to be different and that is the law of life.

I wanted to write this post because I think that sometimes we are very hard on ourselves and in reality in the eyes of our sons and daughters we are wonderful, they see us with eyes of love, they idolize us and we are their example to follow .

If you are a mom or dad, don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing the best you can.

A hug,

Cris