Conflict at School

Sometimes conflicts arise at school and we don't always know how to react.

I have lived this experience as a mother, teacher and principal. It's never easy, but I have one thing clear: communication is the key . When we talk, we can express what we feel and also see the other person's face. Therefore, it is always recommended that communication is in person. Writing a message or email is not the same as speaking and being able to perceive the reaction or give the appropriate tone, since sometimes things can be misinterpreted in writing.

As a mother I have to say that sometimes when my son or daughter comes home telling me something their teachers have told them or something that has happened to them at school or high school, I make an effort to control my protective instinct towards them.

Then I ask them to tell me again, with details and of course if I am not satisfied with their version, I ask for a meeting with the teacher with whom the problem occurred and we talk about it, and I have to say that we always come to a good conclusion, because when there is a willingness to fix or clarify things, any issue is always discussed and clarified.

 

We feel for our children, and when something happens to them at school we feel bad for not been able to help them or not been there to protect them, but all the experiences they have at school will make them grow and learn and we cannot protect them from everything.

As a teacher, I experience sadness. For some time now we have suffered from family distrust and doubt about our professionalism. Everything we do is questioned, and it seems like everyone considers themselves an education expert. We are forced to document each step to avoid misunderstandings, sometimes forgetting that teachers are also people with feelings, like any other human being.

Generally, teachers are people with a vocation; In this profession, it is something necessary. If you don't have it, it can be very difficult. Teaching is a very demanding profession. We work five hours in the morning, during which we are in constant tension, assuming a lot of responsibility. It is not easy to deal with 25 or more little minds, each one coming from a different family and with their needs and peculiarities. When the day ends, we leave the school without energy, because those 25 little ones have exhausted us. In the afternoon, we have to program, correct, respond to messages from families, organize field trips, fill out minutes, and take training courses to stay up to date. Not everything is what it seems; It's not a part time job and it's not easy.

Anyone who has children knows how difficult it is to educate two or three, imagine without them being yours and 5 hours with 25 or more. I sincerely believe that teachers deserve great recognition. It is a hard and thankless task, but it is true that the love that some families and our students often give us makes it worth the effort and dedication. That is why the vocation is very important, without it we would abandon the first year.

Lately it is very common for families to come to protest about something that has happened in class directly to the principal. Of course there is the right to complain but always first to the professional who was in the classroom and if when what happened has been discussed, there is no agreement, then you can go to the management, but not before, because it would be taking away the teacher's place.
 

With all this, I want to say that the life of a teacher is not easy, nor is that of parents, full of fears and concerns. Being on both sides, I can affirm that we work towards the same goal: children.

 

As a principal, I often have to mediate between families and teachers, I can understand both sides, because I often feel identified on one side or the other. I don't usually attend to someone who comes in angry because I know that they are not going to say anything positive and that they may later regret what they said. I usually wait a few hours for them to calm down and then we can talk.
When they tell me that the teacher has said this in class or done, I always ask, have you had a meeting on this topic with the teacher? Generally the answer is no, and I ask them to please make an appointment before I can assist them. In 99.9% of the cases the families do not come back to me, because they have been able to resolve the case through dialogue with the professional who was in class.

We have to understand that school is an extension of the family, it is their second home. At school we also see them grow, we see them play, we see them learn and we give them love and understanding, many times they spend more hours with the teachers than with their own families. For this reason, both family and school complement each other and must help each other.

I advise parents to go to school when something worries them, don't be left with doubts, talk about it, communicate, express what worries you, this way we will be working together and with knowledge, because we cannot judge without knowing.

I encourage teachers to call families when there is a problem, many times behind disruptive behavior there are problems or situations that we do not know about, hard and sad realities, talk to families, put yourself in their place.

Let's work as a team, together we will achieve much more than facing each other.
 

Comunication is the key.

I would love to know what you think about this.

A hug,

Cris